💌 Vaccine hangover won’t stop me from getting you the latest in lewd games!

Hello, lovelies!

I’m happy to report that Mr. Hands got jabbed in his Mr. Arm with AstraZeneca, but not to worry, his wrists still function just fine. 😌

The side effects really aren’t too bad but the shot did leave me feeling tired and woozy, so I’m currently writing this from the comfort of my bed.

If you’re not already subscribed to my weekly newsletter, you can do so here.

Now let’s get into it!

Moral panic update 🔞

In what does now seem to become a weekly occurrence, XBIZ reports that eBay has become the latest platform to ban the sale of adult-only content, including video games.

The online trading platform offers the nonsensical explanation that they’re doing this because “we want to [prevent] those who do not wish to view or purchase these items from easily accessing them”. But their blanket ban on adult content does not apply to old issues of Playboy, Playgirl, Mayfair, and Penthouse apparently.

And in seemingly unrelated news, Twitch took away the ability of their most popular hot tub streamer to make money from ads. Kaitlyn “Amouranth” Siragusa says she made about $1000 a day from ads until May 7th, when it suddenly dropped to zero. Twitch came back to her saying that ads were off the table from the time being.

This makes it all the more interesting that Twitch just announced a new category for streamers called “Pools, Hot Tubs, and Beaches”. Presumably, this will make the content more palatable for advertisers.

Friends, I don’t hope I sound too conspiratorial when I say that both eBay’s and Twitch’s sudden changes relate back to payment processing. It’s becoming increasingly clear to me that MasterCard and Visa both do not want to deal with the icky grey morality of paid adult content.

As a result, every other business on the Internet has to have a good hard think about whether they want to support adult content or process credit card payments. Because apparently, you can’t have both.

Finally, I leave you with this tweet, which highlights how you can’t ban porn without harming queer creators in the process:

Kiss a mermaid in Aquadine’s beautiful waters 🌊

Aquadine is a visual novel by SoftColors about a boy named Ciel who helps pay for his mother’s hospital bills with his part-time work. He works as a gondolier, giving tours on the canals of beautiful Aquadine under an assumed identity. In his work, he encounters many different people, each with their own troubles and secrets.

As he’s finishing up one night, a mysterious voice lures him in and he discovers a beautiful mermaid! She immediately dives away, leaving him with many unanswered questions.

The game features four romantic routes with four unique characters. And yes, one of them is secretly a mermaid! A perfect fit for MerMay, wouldn’t you say? 🧜‍♀️

Aquadine is available now on Steam. A copy was kindly provided by SoftColors so I could cover it for this newsletter.

Writing Wrap-Up 📖

• Nutaku interviewed the Kinkoid team about their game Comix Harem. The game is about training superheroes with your magic 🍆 in a comic world!
• LewdPixels looked at Shady Lewd Kart and liked its “sex drive”. It’s definitely an interesting game for sure. How often do you see kart racing combined with a lewd dating sim?
• My Toes Story promises an adult game for foot lovers on Kickstarter. Featuring three different pairs of feet (attached to beautiful women), this dating sim follows an art school graduate with a foot fetish.
• LewdPixels writes, with appropriate sadness, that the game Lust Epidemic is what 2020 should have been. But with everyone inside and pent-up for 15 months and counting, that doesn’t mean it still can’t come true!

• Bustafellows is a noir mystery visual novel and otome dating sim. Publisher PQube has announced that the game is coming to Steam and Switch on July 30th.
• Latest thrifty gaming tips from BlerdyOtome! Who says good gaming has to break the bank?
• Ambition: A Minuet in Power had to delay their game until August. The dating and political intrigue simulator set in revolutionary Paris still looks extremely interesting to me though!
• Ikumi Nakamura was a good sport about being sent to horny jail over some Lady Dimitrescu tweets. She said that the lady vampire would a perfect fit in her new studio, which has very high ceilings!
• Pornhub remastered and colorized vintage erotic films. Yes, “porn historian” is a real job and an important one at that!

Cheeky chuckle 🤭

Cheeky chuckle 🤭

Thanks for reading this far!

If you want to help me compile the newsletter, feel free to poke me on Twitter.

Until next time!

-Mr. Hands